The Power of “No”

What if your boundaries don't begin in your head—but in your body? What if your body knows—whispers, clenches, sinks, flutters—before you speak, before you decide, before you even know why?

I spent years saying yes when my body was screaming no. Yes to plans I didn't have energy for. Yes to conversations that left me drained. Yes to commitments that felt heavy the moment I agreed to them. And every time, my body told me. A tightness in my chest. A sinking in my gut. A sudden exhaustion that came out of nowhere. But I'd rationalize it. It's fine. It's not a big deal. I can handle it.

Until one day, I couldn't.

When Your Body Knows First

A friend once asked me to help with something last-minute. I said yes immediately—because that's what I always did. But the moment the word left my mouth, my chest tightened. My breath got shallow. My whole body braced. I noticed it this time. And instead of pushing through, I paused.

"Actually, I need to check my schedule. Can I get back to you?"

I hung up. Sat with the sensation. And realized: my body had been saying no the entire time. I just hadn't been listening. That's what somatic boundaries are. Not rules you impose. Not lines you draw in your head. Signals your body sends before your brain even catches up.

Our nervous systems are constantly scanning for safety and threat. And when something feels off—when a request feels like too much, or a relationship feels draining, or a commitment feels heavy—the body responds:

• the chest tightens or the throat closes

• the gut sinks or breath becomes shallow

• a want to leave, hide, or disappear emerges

• Or there’s numbing and shutting down entirely

These aren't failures. They're not signs something's wrong with you, me or anyone. They're information. The body is saying: This doesn't feel safe. This doesn't feel aligned. This is too much.

The question is: Will you listen?

What I'm Learning

Saying no doesn't make you selfish. It makes you honest. And honoring what your body knows—even when your brain is trying to rationalize it away—is one of the most respectful things you can do for yourself.

Because when you ignore your body's signals, you don't just override a feeling. You teach yourself that your needs don't matter. That other people's comfort is more important than your own integrity.

And over time, that erodes you. So now, I practice noticing. Before I say yes, I pause. I put my hand on my chest and ask: Do I have space for this? Is this a full-body yes—or a self-abandoning one?

And if my body says no, I trust it.

Not because I have it all figured out. Not because I'm always confident. But because I've learned that my body knows things my brain is still trying to catch up to.

The Invitation

You don't have to be perfect at this. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to notice. The next time someone asks something of you, pause. Feel your body. And ask:

Is this a yes? Or am I just afraid to say no?

Your body already knows. You're just learning to listen.