the every evolving sense of self
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
- ORIAH MOUNTAIN DREAMER
Defining your sense of self is so much more than what you do, it’s how you perceive yourself - your identity, values, beliefs, self-worth, how you feel about yourself, likes, and dislikes. Your sense of self is your self-awareness and acceptance of the multifaceted nature of what it means to be you.
Who I am and how I define myself feels more like a practice than an absolute because the ways I see myself can change daily, sometimes hourly.
Things I value
I value honesty, integrity, compassion, kindness, accountability, curiosity, equality, gratitude, self-respect, friendship, open-mindedness, flexibility, dependability, courage, family, support, security, health, willingness, trust, pleasure, vulnerability, discipline, and wisdom.
Things I believe
I believe in myself and that the majority of humanity has good intentions, pleasure is a birthright, hurt people hurt people, love alone cannot save a relationship, words carry an enormous amount of power, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, learning is imperative for growth, we all have the power to make someone feel seen, a single act of kindness can change someone’s life for the better, that saying what’s hard is easier than living a life created by only saying what’s easy, life has no meaning other than the one we give it, in being the type of person who helps you find the answers, that beliefs can change.
“Self-esteem is what we think and feel and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing ‘I am greater than all of those things.’ It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am lovable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth.”
- DR. CHRISTINA HIBBERT
My self-worth
My self-worth is NOT dependent on my job, my age, my relationship status, my appearance, my social media following, my net worth, my social circle, or anything or anyone other than myself. My worth is determined through an honest self-evaluation of my abilities, my efforts, and my performance in one or more activities that I deem valuable. I find that my self-worth is a practice of self-acceptance and meeting myself where I am in my experiences.
How I feel about myself
I feel tenacious, grateful, hopeful, loved, loving, and filled with compassion. I feel like growing into the person I desire to be, to be the master of my experiences, to be the best version of myself, to be my greatest asset in accomplishing anything I want and need. I feel flawed, embrace my imperfections, and give myself the grace to fail. I feel compelled to continue to cultivate a deeper relationship with myself and know that wherever I am in my process, I am enough.
Some things I like
Being in nature. Unabashed laughing out loud. Sincere encounters with strangers. Exploring underutilized spaces in buildings. Playing board games. The smell of dirt and sweetgrass. Learning as much as I can about what intrigues me. Singing from the heart. Drinking hibiscus tea. Watching bees work & communicate through dance. Ridiculously hot showers. Storytelling. The ocean. Open windows.
Some things I don’t like
Dehumanization. When people don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Food poisoning. Animal cruelty. Having to pee in New York City (or any major city where public restrooms are few and far between). Great books with terrible endings. Abuse. Intentional physical harm, psychological harm, and/or exploitation of other living creatures (animals, humans, nature). Closed-mindedness. When doctors issue a prognosis. Unspoken expectations. Dishonesty. Jump scares. Littering. Disconnection.
As I share these insights into my sense of self with you, I already know there are some things I missed, some things that will deepen, and some things that will change, and I look forward to sharing them with you when they do!